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(February 1, 2010)
Pain sometimes hurts more than we can bear. But pain reminds us that we can feel. Otherwise we’d be no better than the monsters that surround us, doing more harm than good, trying to make themselves feel something—trying to quiet those angry voices within their own heads.
Without pain we wouldn’t feel that our hands were burning when we placed them on a hot stovetop, or that we’ve cut ourselves on that broken piece of glass. There are times when pain rips up apart so badly that we wonder how we can even go on. We wonder if the tears will ever stop; we wonder if the heart will ever stop hurting; we wonder if we can even take that next breath, or will we.
But we do.
Those tears eventually stop and dry up; the pain in our heart loosens enough for us to go on; and we continue breathing even while thinking we can’t. Our body’s take us to that next day that we don’t feel will ever come along.
We all have known it. We all have dealt with it. We all ask ourselves, why me? Why now? Why? Why? Why?
Because we are all human.
We have all known the pain that causes us to lose hope; to lose our way; to lose everything. We have all known what it’s like to wonder if we can even go on; and how do we. But one thing I’ve learned most of all is life is all about hanging on when you think your heart has had enough and can’t go on. Hang on.
*”When the water is rising. Hang on. When the waves are crashing. Hang on. Just don’t ever let go. Hang on. When you’re barely breathing. Hang on. When your hearts still beating. Hang on. Just don’t ever let go. Hang on.”
Everybody suffers even if situations are different. A friend betrays you; a friend moves; a partner breaks up with you; you’ve been abused; on and on. No matter where the pain comes from, we’ve all known the pain that makes us think that we simply can’t deal with it and can’t go on. Where we believe life is over.
People always tell us—to help us—that we will get over it. That life will go on; that the heart will heal; most importantly that it makes us stronger. How much stronger do we need to be?
Time and again we ask ourselves, how? How do we go on? How do we get out of bed? How over and over again we ask.
We just do.
We just will our bodies to get out of bed and we do it. When in the midst of that pain for the first time we ask our nearest and dearest, how do we do it? How do we get over it?
The less caring of people are the ones that tell us simply to “get over it.” Because they want you to heal quickly so that they can get on with their lives. But does that help us? A lot of the time it can hurt us worse than we were. Because then we truly feel as if we’re facing the issues alone.
Why? Why is it so hard to take the time out of your day to help others when if it were you in that position, you would want the help? People have stopped caring. You can pass out in the middle of a sidewalk and the majority of the people will most likely walk around you and continue. Especially if you’re just an average everyday citizen. If you’re in the midst of a panic attack—and you are one of the type that show your symptoms and screams, or freaks out—it is more than likely that people will avoid you rather than ask if you need help. If you’re having a seizure, are you sure that people will take the time to help you out and then not look at you differently the next day, hoping that it doesn’t strike again and that they have to help you, or they have to deal with it?
That all seems harsh to say, but it’s the truth. People simply don’t care anymore. The ones of us that are in need of the help simply don’t get it. Or if we are faced with it, more than likely if it lasts too long—a certain prescribed amount of time that apparently has somehow been made up as the “norm” we are to adhere to—than that is the point where it’s wrong. You are not supposed to still feel such pain that it once more rips you open and causes the tears to come. Unless you have a smile on your face most of the time, you are told you might need a doctor.
Is that too harsh? Tell me you’ve never heard the words “I think it’s time you let it go and move on” or “I think you need to go “talk” (code for go see a doctor) to someone” and I’ll tell you someone that is one lucky person. That has become the norm. Rather than learn to face your pain, we learn to face a bottle. (In no way do I say that’s wrong, or that others don’t need it.) What happened to the power of our own minds? What happened to learning how to heal ourselves?
How do we move on? How do we face that next day?
We just do.
We find a way to take hold of that pain once it’s taken over our lives to the point that we take a pause and we tell it that we will not allow it to hold us back no more. We, on our own, realize, wait… you have held onto me for too long and I am stronger than that. I will not allow you to take over my life anymore.
We take hold of that pain and through our own strength at the end of the day—not doctors, not friends, not anything else as they are NOT the ones that face ourselves at the end of the day—and we swallow it. We deal with it; we feel it; we live with it; most importantly we live through it. We find a way. Each of us has our own way. But we find a way and find a way to go on. We don’t forget; we don’t let it go; we don’t stop caring. We simply go on.
We move forward.
We are all stronger than we believe at the time.
The sun will still rise tomorrow. The world will still go on. Life itself will still continue happening and we will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel and find a way to go on. Even when our hearts have had enough and we don’t think we can face that next day. We take our pain and we find a way to turn it around and swallow it down inside of us until the next time. Then once more we deal with the pain that comes our way and with each step we figure out each problem, fix it and go on. We hang on.
Tomorrow will always come and tomorrow will always be better. And if it’s not better? There will always be another tomorrow to have a better day.
Pain sometimes hurts more than we can bear. But without pain, we’d be unable to feel and to not care is a death sentence. Some of us care more than others, but we all care deep down. Fool yourself all you want if you think you don’t care, but you do.
Pain reminds us all that we’re only human and we can only do so much.
Without pain, there would be no love and without love there would be no pain. There would be no us. The day we give up is the day our lives have no more meaning. Never stop moving forward. Never give up. Never give in. Enjoy every day like it’s your last, otherwise where can life take you? Because you’ve already arrived at the happiest moment you can have right now. It’s only what you make of it.
So I repeat… The day we give up is the day our lives have no more meaning. Never stop moving forward. Never give up. Never give in. Enjoy every day like it’s your last, otherwise where can life take you?
Copyright 2010 AHBrowne All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of AHBrowne.
* Song lyrics to, Plumb – Hang on