"I can't compromise myself like that. I am an emotional person. I feel things. I need to be allowed to get upset and talk about it. That is just who I am and I can't change it. I don't want to. And the thing is you knew that, you knew it, and you still pursued me because you want something with me - you're just not strong enough to have it. Which in a way, makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that one day you're gonna wake up and realize what you missed and it's gonna be too late."

Felicity talking to Ben on the episode - The List

I Will Be There
Remember me when all is lost and all is gray
For I will be there to light your way
I will be there to guide you home
When your skies turn dark
And your life grows bleak
To brighten your way
For I will be there
To hold your hand
To wrap my arms around you
When all seems lost
And you cannot go on
I will be there
If only in spirit
For I am always there with you
And forever I’ll be

Pure Love
The day I was born
Was the day I fell in love with him
I was born to love him
Watching him grow
From a young boy
Into a grown man
Beginning with a crush - a childs love
Heightening to lust - a teenagers love
Finally blooming
Into a love that surpasses all time
A love that exists
To make the world a better place
To hear his voice
Only makes me smile
To hear, 'I love you.'
Stops my heart
To see the smile in his eyes
When he looks my way
Makes me fill with warmth
To feel his arms around me
Erases the world
To see the man he's become
Makes me melt
To see the father he's become
Makes me proud

Other Side Of The Door
Now Playing: Josh Groban - You're Still You

It's over there
On the other side of the door
I can see it over there
I can hear it
It whispers to me like a lover
Promising things to me if only I'll open the door
It senses my weakness
And wishes to comfort me
I listened to it once
And nearly lost my life
I am constantly fighting
Not to open the door
I'm growing tired of constantly fighting
It would be so easy to open the door
But I continue to fight
The neverending battle
But I fear I am growing weak
I feel as if I should be giving in
Maybe if I stay quiet
But no
That is what let it in before
And so I begin to scream
I must continue to fight
I must open up myself
So I can break free
So I can reach out
And lock that door
I will not allow you in!
Leave me alone!
I will no longer keep quiet!
So you have no place here!
You are not welcome here!

And so the story starts. . .

Poem written by a friend for me
Now Playing: End of the World

Poem written for me by a friend of mine. He's a good singer/father/husband.

 

The snow falls softly around her

Covering the sins of the world

Muting the cries of pain

She looks up into the dark void above her

Feeling the soft flakes land on her face

Like the gentle caress of a lover

Time slows to a stop

As the curtain of snow blocks out the world

Closing her eyes she listens to nothing

Feeling the flakes melt as they fall upon her

She shivers as the cold penetrates her body

How long will she stand there

How long will she wait

Until they are together again

Until they connect as once was

 

 

A girl of young age

Wakes in the night

Seeing her mother pack

She starts to cry

Asking her, "What are you doing?"

To her child she says, "Leaving."

Knowing nothing to do the girl only watches

Her mother packs and walks out the door

Crying she goes to her brother and father

Telling them she watched and did nothing

Crying as she does

The both attack her saying

"Why didn't you stop her?!"

She merely cries as she sits there

Thinking, 'It's all my fault. Why didn't I do anything?'

Only months later to be convinced

By the one supposed to protect her

The she was thrown out by the father

Convinced of this lie

The little girl pushes him away

Only to find later that it was a lie

Too late does this child grow to be wise

Wise of the fact that her mother lied to her

Wise to the fact that this family sworn to protect her

Is the one thing she always has and always will

Need protection from

Earth
The world is giving up on itself
We are giving up on the world
Always it’s maybe the grass is greener on the other side
Always they are saying
Well maybe the grass is greener over there
We want what they have
They want what we have
We abuse the land
She continues to provide for us
But how much longer before she says
Enough!

Split Personalities
She is the dark
While I am the light
She is the unleashed darkness hidden inside
While I am the condemned living inside
She is the fantasy
While I am the reality
She'll break your heart
While I put it together again
She'll push you over the edge
While I pull you back and keep you safe
She is the beast within
Trying to break free
While I am the other
Trying to run away
But together we are one

He comes to her in the night
He wraps his arms around her
Sheltering her from harm
Protecting her
Guarding her
Nourishing her
You are safe he says
He tightens his grasp
She in enveloped in his arms
She is safe from all
She is home

He comes to her in the night
And whispers in her ear
You are the only
One who understands me
One who I want
One I need
You are my all

He is the dark
She is the light
He is the night
She is the light
She is his only
He is hers too
Together they are one

Come To Me
Do not come to me to say how you will fuck me this way and that.
Don't come to me to tell me what you'll do to me
Once you've learned how to seduce me under the full moon and whisper what
I want to hear and not what you have learned from watching porn - Come say hi.
When you have learned true passion - Come say hi.
When you know that a soft touch can do more for a person than a quickie - Come to me.
When you have learned how a soft breath on your neck can cause shudders - Come to me.
And when you've learned how a soft kiss on your neck can melt ice - Come to me.
When you've learned how it feels to surrender to another - Come to me.
When you have the power to make me surrender to you without even touching me, but with a look - Come to me.
When you know that the secret to me is with but a hand on the small of my back - Come to me
Come to me, but know that only one will ever have the power to make me surrender.
Only one will have the strength to caress me under the full moon on the beach.
Only one will ever take hold of my wild spirit and make me stay.
Only one will ever make me theirs.

Stolen Soul
She let's him get close
Maybe this time'll be okay
She's okay at first
Then she says no
Yet he invades her
He doesn't listen
She loses herself more and more
Every second that he continues
She's not aware of what's happening
Because she's already checked out
She's already gone
She's been through this before
She's checked out cause that's what you do
Only to check in once he's done
The part that he stole doesn't come back
Will it ever be okay
Will it ever come back?
She's tired of losing the never ending battle
How many more will steal what little is left of her soul?

I've successfully managed to push everyone away
So much so that now, when I need someone
They are not here
All I want is "someone" to just wrap their arms around me and say . . .
I'm here.
Then, just don't let me go.

Quote

"You will never find the answer until you ask the question." KI

 "Picture the life that you want and that image will become fact."

"Make a decision, even if it's wrong."

"You can never undo the past, only change the future." KI

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.  ~Sally Field

We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.  ~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.  ~Henry Ford

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.  ~Peter T. Mcintyre

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.  ~Sophia Loren

A gold medal is a nice thing - but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.  ~From Cool Runnings

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  ~Marianne Williamson

Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.  ~Gene Fowler, Skyline, 1961

Laugh like nobody is listening
Dance like nobody is watching
And Love . . . Like you've never been hurt.
Irish Proverb

Quote's

Only when you let go and lose control
Will you gain control...
Of yourself...
And your life

 

~K I~

 

Don't put love out there
Expecting to get it back
You won't
Just put as much love out there as you can
And you will receive as much
If not more
As long as you don't expect to

 ~K I~

 

I'm sorry that I never called you when I wanted to
Im sorry that I never turned to you when I needed to
That I managed to push you away when I needed you near
That I never told you you inspire in me
The will to be better
Just so that you would be proud of me
The will to keep going
The will to survive

Standing on the beach she holds his hand
Smiling he looks down at her
Giving a slight squeeze to her small hand
As if to to say I am here
She feels a comfort only he can provide
He's looking at the most beautiful woman he's even seen
The woman that he wants to be with until the day he dies
The wind blows her hair as the sun begins to set
She smiles at him and looks around
Nobody else around but them and few friends
She wears a simple white flowing dress
To his casual pants and shirt
Her eyes sparkle in the sunset
As she takes a deep breath of the ocean air
The strong hand holds hers tight as the priest asks,
"Who gives this woman?"
In her heart and soul she hears a distant father say,
"I do."
In her ear she hears a brother say,
"I do."
The priest begins his speech
As she looks at the man beside her
She feels that he is as happy as she
She never thought this day would come to pass
The past a long hard road
But now she sees a future ahead
Long wished and awaited for
Of a happiness that only they together could have

Would they notice if I were gone
If I walked out the door
Never to return
Would they notice
Would they miss me if I were gone
Would they try to stop me
If they knew I were leaving
Would they miss me
Would they tell me - I want you to stay
If they thought they'd never see me again
What could they say
If I were already gone and it were to late
Would they notice if I were gone